Dating Safely

Our Dedicated Approach to Your Safety

We are dedicated to keeping our online community safe, and we strongly believe it is our social responsibility to be leaders in safety and security in online dating. Whether you are a new or seasoned online dater, it's important to know that you and your personal data are protected.

As part of our approach, our support team continuously works to educate the community on safety measures when communicating online. This includes advice on potential scams, how to avoid commercial solicitations, and ultimately, how to safely meet in real life.

Always keep your personal safety in mind, and follow these simple guidelines to reduce your risk of harm when meeting your match, both online and in person.

What you should expect to see on Seeking:

• We believe that you can never have too much information when it comes to your personal safety, so we frequently compile tips to keep yourself safe before, during, and after your date, often shared on our blog or in emails to our members.
• As many companies in the cyber safety space point out, information security should be like a layered cake. Seeking takes the same approach by implementing SSL certification, web application firewalls (WAF), advanced threat and bot detection software and third-party cyber security audits.
• There are notices throughout the platform warning members to never give bank or other financial information. If you suspect you are a victim of fraudulent behavior, please report it immediately to both Seeking and local authorities.
• We encourage our users to report any suspicious behavior so we can investigate immediately. Our team has spent countless hours working to build and improve systems to balance quality, user privacy, and ethical behavior.

• How We Use Technology to Help Protect You
• Making a Safe Dating Profile
• Dating Honestly and With Respect
• Seeking's Commitment to Safety
• Seeking's Safety Policies
• How We Prohibit Transactional Dating
• Limitations in Acting on Off-Service Behaviors
• Seeking's Photo & Video Guidelines
• Seeking's Community Guidelines
• Sexual Health & Consent
• Reporting Members

Making A Safe Dating Profile

• Limit The Details You Share — Your personal details, including your full name, home address, place of work, financial information, phone number, and favorite local hang-out spots should remain a mystery. When creating your username, don't use your first and last name; just use your first name or create a playful account username and email account with a flirty nickname.
• Original Photos and Social Media — Use different photos for your dating profile than your social profiles. It's easy to do a reverse image search with Google. If your dating profile has a photo that also shows up on your Instagram or Facebook account, it will be easy for someone to find you on social media. Also, avoid using photos that make places you and your friends frequent too obvious, and don't link any online dating sites to your social channels.
• Verified For Comfort — ID verification is the quickest and easiest way to ensure the person you're chatting with is exactly who they say they are. Verify your account and don't hesitate to ask your potential date to get their profile verified, too. A quick phone call or video chat is an additional, simple way to verify your date is who they say they are before you meet in person. Seeking now has a video chat feature, an easy and safe way to meet virtually before setting up in-person dates. For your safety, here are a few things to keep in mind when using video chat:
  • Don't share any of your personal information.
  • Be aware of your background and avoid displaying private info in your shot.
  • While we don't record any of your video conversations, no video chat platform can prevent members from recording their video chats.
• Nip Uncomfortable Conversations in the Bud — Take the appropriate measures to block and report the person who is making you feel uncomfortable. Our site provides many ways to anonymously report a member that makes you uncomfortable to make sure no one else is subject to that individual's behavior.

Are You Ready to Date Safely?

Your personal safety is Seeking's primary focus. It should be yours as well. As we continue to expand and enhance our safety features, we also want to help you feel more secure and confident when planning an in-person date. Here are a few things you can do in preparation for your first in-person meeting:

• Conduct personal research. Doing a little background research on a date prior to your meet-up is both a very common and a very smart move. Checking social accounts to make sure your potential match is honest in who they say they are is a great way to filter out any doubts.
• Always meet in a public place. Should you feel any pressure to meet in a private location, stress the importance of wanting to meet in public for the first couple of dates. If your date continues to push the subject, reevaluate meeting in person or end the conversation entirely.
• Tell someone about your plans. Let a trusted friend or family member know the details of your date. There are never too many details to share when it comes to your safety.
• Take precautionary defensive measures. Tucking some pepper spray in your purse when you go on a first date can help create peace of mind.
• Consider making your first date a double date. If you can, go out with at least one other friend or couple to keep an eye on each other. It's also a great way to get a second opinion if you start getting bad vibes from a date.
• Arrange your own transportation to and from the date.Drive your own car, take public transportation, call a friend or use a rideshare app. To make sure you get home safe and sound, don't accept a ride or walk back with your date.
• Keep private details private, for now. On those initial dates, keep private details private, including your last name, address, and frequent hang-out spots, until you've built trust.
• Be observant. Pay attention to the body language and facial expressions of the person you're meeting.
• Always keep an eye on your food and drinks. Never leave your food or drinks unattended. Should you have to step away from the table, place a napkin over your plate, and never feel bad about requesting a new drink.
• Ensure your cell phone is fully charged and locations are on.Before, during, and after your date, make sure your phone has enough battery life and that your location settings are turned on so a trusted family member or friend can track your location as needed.
• Stay sober or watch your alcohol intake. Limit the amount of alcohol you drink. Becoming impaired is an easy way to make yourself vulnerable.
• Always have enough cash or a credit card on you to get home.Having some cash available to handle unexpected situations is the best way to feel comfortable when you're on a date.
• Trust your gut. If your instincts are telling you something is wrong, believe them. Hanging around and trying to make it feel right is a risk not worth taking.
• Have your "gotta go!" excuse ready. Don't be afraid to leave a date prematurely. Come prepared and practice what you'll say if you decide you want to leave early.
• Don't violate your values and ground rules. This includes not going home with someone or inviting them inside your home. Never feel pressured into going somewhere or doing something you are uncomfortable with.
• Report all suspicious and offensive behaviors. At Seeking, members can "Report a Member" from the user's profile. Pick the appropriate reason from the list and provide a clear description of the violation. You may also block the individual, which prevents them from communicating with you and from seeing your profile.Customer Support is also available 24/7 with any questions or concerns.

After a Date

If you are just not feeling a love connection, it's okay to say so.

• Feelings need to be mutual. If you are simply not interested in seeing someone again, be honest and tell them right away. If you feel that they won't take it seriously, leave the date without plans for follow-up and don't be afraid to block their number or profile.
• If you're not feeling it, don't be afraid to cut contact.After you tell your date that you're not interested, don't hesitate to stop taking their calls or messages. Going off the grid is not rude; it's a clear signal to back off.

IMPORTANT: If a member has threatened you or committed an act of violence or theft, please contact your local law enforcement agency and also report the member to Seeking to help protect the community.

Seeking's Commitment to Safety

We employ different tools, processes, and policies to foster respectful communities and environments. Depending on the needs of each platform and the audiences they serve, different tools may be adopted by different brands. The objective is universal: we are committed to creating a safe and positive experience for all our members on each and every one of our platforms.

While rare, we believe that any incident of misconduct or criminal behavior is one too many, and that is why we are committed to working tirelessly to ensure that you and our community remain safe.

Seeking's Safety & Security Features & Tools

• Our security team uses industry-leading security monitoring tools featuring advanced AI threat detection augmented with a dedicated team within a Security Operations Center. This team serves as first responders on the cyber front, offering 24/7/365 protection in any time zone.
• We have the most sophisticated bot detection software on the market.
• We safeguard all members' personal information, including credit card data, with multiple layers of security, including encryption in transit and at rest. Users' passwords are hashed and encrypted, and staff have no access to them.
• Constant profile vetting to ensure the community is safe from deceitful members.
• We have a giant technology infrastructure featuring security as the core.
• All member data is encrypted and stored in an infrastructure exclusively controlled by Seeking.com.
• We conduct both internal and external quarterly compliance audits (PCI Compliant, external; Security Team, internal).
• All of our websites are Transport Layer Security (TLS) secure, a cryptographic protocol designed to provide privacy and data integrity over a computer network.
• We provide regular and ongoing Privacy and Security Training for all staff.

We use a network of trusted safety tools

Seeking uses a network of industry-leading automated and manual moderation and review tools, technology, processes, and policies. We spend millions of dollars annually to prevent, detect, and remove people who engage in inappropriate behavior on our platforms. Examples of tools we use include:

• Automatic scans of profiles upon creation for red-flag language and images;
• Ongoing scans for fraudulent accounts or messaging activity; and
• Manual reviews of suspicious profiles, activity, and user-generated reports.

We also depend on our members to report any profiles engaged in concerning behavior so that we can investigate and take appropriate action.

Background Checks

At Seeking, members have the ability to request a background search. After verification, a badge is posted on the member's profile to show they have been through the background check process.

Video and AI Technology

Seeking is integrating features such as video chat, automated photo review, and photo verification, all of which help our members ensure that every match is who they say they are. We are also incorporating anti-harassment prompts that use machine learning to automatically screen for potentially offensive messages and prompt the recipient to report the behavior.

Safety Resources

Seeking has in-app safety resources that equip daters with a comprehensive suite of information to keep members informed about the latest safety features. These resources are continually updated and evolve in collaboration with the safety experts on our Seeking Advisory Council.

Customer Care Teams

Seeking has its own robust customer care team dedicated to supporting our members and addressing any complaints or reports of bad behavior. Serious violations of our Terms of Use are reported to a centralized safety repository and cross-referenced across all our platforms. If associated accounts are found, those accounts are blocked as well.

Campaign for Secure Dating Advisory Council

Formed in 2021, the Campaign for Secure Dating Advisory Council is a group of leading experts and advocates involved in the study and prevention of sexual assault, sex trafficking, abuse, harassment, and similar issues. The council regularly makes recommendations on how to improve safety on the Seeking platforms.

Government Relations

As a leader in connecting people, we believe we have an important role to play in defining the standards for all players in our industry. That's why we work closely with legislators and regulators across the globe to define and pass new safety-focused laws that can help make both our members and those on other tech platforms safe. We welcome the opportunity to work with governments around the world to make the internet a safer place for everyone.

How We Prohibit Transactional Dating

Seeking has made significant enhancements to the site to ensure it provides a safe platform for members looking for genuine and authentic connections, not financial arrangements.

To this end, Seeking employs extensive measures to prevent any form of transactional or sugar dating, solicitation, or commercial exchange for sexual services, all of which are strictly prohibited by ourTerms of Use. These measures include AI and human-in-the-loop (HITL) profile and message monitoring, proactive member education, extensive safety tips, penalties for violations, and easily accessible member reporting functionality:

• Profile Monitoring: Seeking uses AI to scan profile content, images, and member behavior for patterns that may suggest violations of our Terms of Use and Community Guidelines. Suspicious members and content are flagged and may trigger an automated punishment. In certain cases, a trained moderator may manually review the flagged content.
• Real-Time Message Monitoring: Messages suggesting transactional or compensated dating may trigger an immediate warning to the potentially offending member. To protect our members' privacy, direct messages aren't reviewed by our human team unless they have been flagged for potential violations.
• Member Penalties and Bans: First-time offenders who ignore the subsequent warning receive a temporary suspension and are required to view an educational video and take a quiz on our Community Guidelines. Repeat offenses escalate to longer suspensions and restricted search visibility, and continued violations may result in a permanent ban, pursuant to our Terms of Use.

While Seeking cannot control what happens when members meet in person, we share detailed Safe Dating Tips and maintain an easy-to-use "Report Member" function within the site where members can flag suspicious or illegal behavior at the click of a button.

Seeking's Photo & Video Guidelines

When uploading either a public or private photo, please follow the rules listed below. Photos that violate the guidelines will be denied, and your account may be suspended. All photos must include yourself.

Acceptable photos include:

• Bottom nose to chin photos.
• Partially blurred or masked photos.
• Clothed photos of your body without your face.
• Photos featuring luxury items (houses, cars, yachts) if you are also in the photo.
• Photos of your body where all private areas are fully covered.

Photos that will NOT be accepted:

• Photos without you in them (e.g., stock images, celebrities, objects, landscapes).
• Extreme close-ups (focused solely on lips, hands, feet, chest).
• Photos featuring minors (including family photos, childhood pictures, or any images where minors are visible in the background).
• Nude or sexually explicit photos (full nudity, see-through clothing, exposed pelvic regions, sheer lingerie, body paint coverage, or sexually suggestive poses).
• Photos containing illegal or inappropriate content (e.g., weapons, drug paraphernalia, graphic injuries, violence, currency).
• Duplicate photos (repeated uploads of the same image).
• Photos sourced from third parties, other Seeking members, or copyrighted content (e.g., photos taken from social media or professional shoots with visible watermarks).
• Improperly rotated or cropped images (images that are sideways or incomplete).
• Photos with personal contact information or business logos (email addresses, phone numbers, social media handles, watermarks).

Your primary profile photo is the first image other users see and must meet higher visibility standards.

Primary Photo Guidelines:

• Must feature your unobstructed face (no masks, extreme shadows, or far-distance shots).
• Must only include you (no group photos, even if you are the main focus).
• Should be an authentic representation of you (overly edited or AI-generated photos may be denied).

Primary Photos that will NOT be accepted:

• Provocative poses or suggestive imagery (e.g., bending over, excessive body contact, fully clothed but touching private regions).
• Indoor swimwear, lingerie, or shirtless photos.

If you believe a photo violates these guidelines or someone is misusing your image, please report it to customer support via asupport ticket. Seeking reserves the right to deny any content at our discretion.

Sexual Health & Consent

Sexual Health

How to Talk About Safer Sex with a Potential Partner

When talking to a partner or potential partner, be clear about your expectations and any concerns. You might want to know:

• What birth control is being used?
• What protection against sexually transmitted infections (STIs) is being used?
• When was the last time your partner was tested for STIs?

If these questions make you uncomfortable, it may be easier to begin the conversation by giving your own information first, for instance, "Just so you know, I was last tested for STIs a couple of months ago, and I haven't slept with anyone since. Also, I'm on birth control, but it's still important to me that I use a condom every time. Do you have any preferences I should know about?"

The Importance of Routine Testing

According to the National Coalition for Sexual Health, recommended STI testing frequency varies based on your relationship status and sexual activity. If you're "single and ready to mingle," it would be ideal to have an initial, all-encompassing screening that looks for common STIs like chlamydia, gonorrhea, HSV-2, syphilis, hepatitis, and HIV.

The CDC says that both gender and age factor into which tests you should prioritize, and how often you should seek testing. Talking with your primary care provider can help determine the STI testing schedule that best suits your needs. Getting tested before having sex with a new partner is always a good idea, and if you have new partners frequently, it's a good idea to talk frankly with your provider about a screening schedule and safe sex precautions.

How to Talk to Your Doctor About Your Sex Life

Your healthcare team is there to help you be the healthiest you can be, and that includes your sexual health. Building a trusting relationship with a primary care provider will make it easier to discuss potentially sensitive subjects. If you feel uncomfortable bringing up certain topics, it may help to write your concerns down before your visit and express your nervousness honestly, for instance, "This is hard for me to talk about." A frank discussion about your sexual health will help your provider be a better partner in your health.

Consent

Consent means actively agreeing to be sexual with someone. Consent lets someone know that sex is wanted. Sexual activity without consent is rape or sexual assault.

What is consent?

Sexual consent is an agreement to participate in a sexual activity. Before being sexual with someone, you need to know if they want to be sexual with you too. It's also important to be honest with your partner about what you want and don't want. Both people must agree to sex, every single time, for it to be consensual. Without consent, sexual activity (including oral sex, genital touching, and vaginal or anal penetration) is sexual assault or rape.

Consent is as easy as FRIES:

• Freely given. Consenting is a choice you make without pressure, manipulation, or under the influence of drugs or alcohol.
• Reversible. Anyone can change their mind about what they feel like doing, anytime.
• Informed. You can only consent to something if you have the full story. If someone says they'll use a condom and then they don't, there isn't full consent.
• Enthusiastic. You should only participate in activities you want to do, not things you feel you're expected to do.
• Specific. Saying yes to one thing doesn't mean you've said yes to others.

You get the final say over what happens with your body. You're allowed to say "stop" at any time, and your partner needs to respect that. Consent is never implied by things like your past behavior, what you wear, or where you go. Silence is not consent. People who are drunk, high, or passed out can't consent to sex. There are also laws to protect minors (people under the age of 18) from being pressured into sex with someone much older than them. The age of consent varies in different parts of the U.S. and in different countries.

What is sexual assault and what is rape?

Rape, sexual assault, and sexual abuse can have different legal definitions. In general, they are forms of violence in which there is sexual contact without consent, including vaginal or anal penetration, oral sex, and genital touching. In the U.S. the legal definitions vary; some states use these terms interchangeably, while others define them differently.

Anyone can be a victim, no matter their gender, sexual orientation, or age. Sexual violence doesn't happen in one single way. There doesn't need to be a weapon involved, and the victim doesn't need to have fought back, screamed, or said "no" repeatedly for it to count as rape or sexual assault. Often, it's someone the victim knows or even a romantic partner. It's important to remember that no matter the circumstance, sexual violence is never the victim's fault. If you or someone you know has experienced this type of violence, you're not alone, and help is available.